Reason for Woman’s Disappointing First Date Sparks Debate Online: ‘Drained’

A content creator’s retelling of how a first date went has sparked discussion among viewers online.
Danielle Walter, who goes by @daniellewalter_ online, told her followers that her date had “talked at her” for most of their first meeting. The clip, which was shared to TikTok on June 23, has been liked more than 1.5 million times, and has led to a diverse range of comments from viewers. Some have backed Walter in her decision not to see the man again, while others have encouraged her to give him another chance.
“Talking over your date or focusing solely on yourself can weaken the possible connection,” Danielle Tucci, a licensed counselor, told Newsweek. “These behaviors conflict with attunement, a fundamental element of healthy relationship dynamics.”
Viewers were able to see Walter, 31, walking toward the date location, while talking into her front camera.
“I know nothing besides he’s good looking and Christian, and I’m very excited,” said Walter, who shared she had met the man on Hinge.
The clip then jumped forward to a shot of Walter sitting inside her car, with a disappointed look on her face.
“That did not go well,” she told viewers, before sharing that she felt “talked at” during the dinner.
“I feel like I was talked at for two hours,” Walter added.
The creator, who is based in California, has been keeping her TikTok following of 500,000-plus users up to date on her love life by filming short rundowns about all her recent dates in a bid to find the one and learn more about modern dating. Walter, who calls herself California’s answer to Sex and the City’s Carrie Bradshaw, has become known on the platform for her candid dating stories.
Tucci, who is the owner of Live Better Therapy Solutions, says that attunement, something that Walter’s date allegedly lacked, is the key to building and maintaining a healthy relationship.
“Attunement is when we are aware of another person’s thoughts and emotions and are responsive to them,” Tucci said. “It is tuning in to our partner in a way that conveys empathy, understanding and connection.”
The counselor added that this can be achieved through active listening, validation and responsiveness, while talking over or at one another is a big no.
The post has amassed more than 18,100 comments since it was shared online.
“Yes, I hate being talked at! That happened with a guy I went out with, and I feel like I knew everything about him but he knew nothing about me. Because he didn’t ask,” one viewer, @_laurenfay, posted.
Another, @mostardentlyyours, wrote: “Maybe he was nervous? My husband did not stop talking on our first date.”
“Talked at: He failed to show any interest in getting to know her,” a third user, @ladan231, commented.
“He drained you so much energy,” another, @t_t, added.
Newsweek reached out to @daniellewalter_ for more information via TikTok
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